I told him getting married makes me feel secured and valued. But he said I’m pressuring him to get married.
What makes men not want to get married? Am I wrong for wanting to get married? Will it be okay if I stay with him without getting married and have kids? Will he leave me after we have kids?
It’s the biggest and most important commitment that any couple can make in their entire life because nothing on the face of this earth requires more commitment than to love one person for the rest of your life.
Again, it’s one of the most serious and important decisions you could ever make in your entire life.
I wouldn’t have married my wife unless she and I were on the same page about how huge the commitment is, that she is willing to work through everything together, no matter what, until death parts us. And also that I knew she and I are both capable of lifelong challenges that a successful marriage will bring.
I also wouldn’t have made that commitment without marriage, nor would I have trusted that it could be possible without marriage. Without marriage, then there are no vows. And vows are the biggest promise you can make in your lifetime, and to make that commitment then you better know who someone is, inside and out.
Most people approach their marriage like: “Let’s get married and find out what happens.”
It’s no wonder most marriages don’t last. Few seem to know what it is, the seriousness of it, what it takes and who they are committing to, who their partner is, nor what they are capable of, let alone knowing themselves.
Having children is the second most important decision you can make in your lifetime, and I wouldn’t recommend having children with someone who cannot commit to marriage because both marriage and a commitment to children are two of the most difficult sacrifices that anyone can ever make.
If they cannot commit to marriage, then it’s very likely they cannot commit to you and the children as a united family for a lifetime.