I put “nice guy” in quotes because it’s not what it seems. What does the saying “nice guys finish last” mean? It means, dating men who are kind and considerate are often overlooked by women because dating is a realm of competition with many other men, so energetically speaking, more assertive men offer the sense that they know what they want and are willing to stand out from the competition and do what it takes to prove to the woman that he wants her.
I know it seems to make no sense why women don’t want the nice guys, but there are definitely reasons on a psychological and biological level:
Psychologically speaking (and mostly unconscious to this fact), “nice guys” often value kindness as a priority, even demonstrating kindness in situations where kindness is not useful for a man, because women have this value as a priory, so he assumes she will value him above other men.
Biologically speaking, a woman uses kindness as the top value in many situations because it benefits her even in dangerous situations. For example, when there are men who are being aggressive, and obviously the men are stronger than she is. Thus, protection is a value and quality that women are attracted to in men for biologically reasons.
The “nice guy” energy can often be received by the woman that the man is overly passive, and passive men are not likely to get aggressive (and be protective) in situations where it would benefit her and him to lead with that quality and value.
Women are also drawn to confidence in a man, and the “nice guy” energy comes across that you second guess yourself, has trouble making decisions, has a problem coming up with solutions, and doesn’t hold a solid vision, direction and purpose that contributes to the success of the relationship.
It doesn’t mean that women don’t like nice guys, they do, but the energy, values, and qualities that make up the “nice guy” characteristics don’t offer the magnetic pull that attracts her on a chemical, sexual, psychological, biological, and romantic level.
You’ll need to reach deep into your masculine and pull out the qualities within that women admire. It can definitely be done, but you will likely need help from an expert men’s dating coach that deeply understands the masculine traits that attract women.